Week 4 Recap – September 24

1 10 2008

We were too busy this week to come up with our own re-cap for the week…so instead we decided to post portions of internal team e-mail messages that were forwarded on to us. 
We hope you enjoy the excerpts below.  Can you figure out which messages are from which teams?


Mediocre?  Are we really mediocre?
I don’t think having a 6-0 lead and then losing the game 21-7 makes us mediocre.  And what was wrong with chucking those four balls to the back wall in that one frame?  I mean, we almost hit the pallino.
And does losing one game and winning one game each week really make us mediocre?
And what do you mean that Shaun needs to come to games hammered so that he has a reasonably good chance of being above mediocre?

TO:       All Employees
FR:       Lewis Campbell, CEO
Please know that our employee team now has a record of 8-0 in the new professional bocce league started here in Providence.  I am assured that the undefeated record is the result of Textron’s new company-wide quality improvement strategies that this tight-knit, small, elite unit who have embraced. 
Their success has absolutely nothing to do with luck, given the consistent line-up they have fielded each week.  Nope, nothing to do with luck
Additionally, the team captain is trying to pare down the team roster to fewer than seven pages…so please e-mail him if you ARE NOT available  to play next Wednesday.

Laura and Jessie,
Oh, I’m sorry that the e-mail regarding this coming week’s games mistakenly listed that they were to be played on Thursday.  Gosh, not sure how that happened.  I’m glad that another member of the league had forwarded the weekly schedule to you correctly showing the games are to be played on Wednesday.
No, I don’t know anything about an e-mail that supposedly went out to the alternate list wondering if Tammie was available for the 8:15 and 9:45 games this coming week.   Nope, don’t know anything about that. 
The formal dress code for this week is MANDATORY.  Ya’ got that.  Mandatory.  And ya’ gotta wear dress shoes this time, too.  Ya’ got that.  Dress shoes.
The sun’ll come out tomorrow…you can bet your bottom bottle on tomorrow, come what may.  Tomorrow, tomorrow…I love ya’ tomorrow.  Our first victory is always a game away!!  

Ummm…I wasn’t quite sure what you were trying to say last?  That I HAVE the best boobs…or I AM the best B.O.o.B.S.?  Oh, well…why don’t we talk about it at The After Work Party at The Penalty Box on N. Main Street?

Dear S****,
You left your f****** Blackberry at the court.  I dropped it off at your f****** house.  Next time do you think you might be able to answer the f****** door after I’ve been pounding on it for ten f****** minutes?
Take care, sweetie—
Hmmm…not sure if we’ll have enough people for the games this week.  Bibi still has her class…supposedly.  And Celia is still unpacking from her move; can’t imagine how much crap she has.  Oh, I forgot, we have Edvin.  He’ll be there, for sure!  Like clockwork, that guy.
Ya, I was rawk’n the Natty last Weds. at the courts.  What about it?

Yes, you looked great in your ruffled shirt…and little Lite beers are cute.
But, OMG, did you see him…and how cute he is?  Do you think he knows that I have a total crush on him?  I mean, he is so hot.
Last Thursday morning I stopped by the bocce courts just to make sure that Capo Deboccery hadn’t left any other personal items behind last week in addition to her Blackberry.
I was quite surprised to find a SECOND Blackberry there…which I knew couldn’t be Capo Deboccery’s (unless she carries a back-up Blackberry for those times she isn’t able to locate hers).
Anyway, let know if it is your Blackberry.  It was found near one of the benches amidst a number of Backwoods cigar butts and a dozen or so empty Peroni bottles.  Hey, wasn’t that the bench where The Segals were sitting last week, quietly whispering to one another (in clear frustration).  Hmmm….
Anyway, I was able to retrieve an exchange of several text messages to and from the Blackberry in question last Wednesday.  Hopefully this might give some clues about the owner of the lost Blackberry.  Let me know if it is yours?

JB – Eric told me you’re upset about the note I left about not needing you for bocce tonight.  I just think it is important that the A-listers get a chance to play together to prep for the championships in both  the Nocabulabet and Tazza leagues. 
Hey, we’ll still need you to provide moral support from the sidelines rather than thinking you can contribute on the court. 
Oh…gotta go.  Dan got some really good cigars for us.  The men need to get together for a little bonding smoke before our victories tonight.  Milt
Milt –I totally understand it is important that you guys play and that I do what I can to support you.  I’m finishing up a batch of cookies for all of you…and I’m going to get started on some posters to cheer you strong men on to victory next week.  JB
JB – thanks for understanding that not all can contribute in big ways.  Not everyone can be in the parade; I mean, who would be on the side to cheer on us A-listers?  Gotta go.  Time to light up our victory cigars.  The other team is three points down going into the final frame; they don’t have a chance.  Milt
Milt –glad you guys are doing so well.  Now I TOTALLY understand why little old me needed to stay here and work on my cheers for the big playoff games coming up.  Good luck in the second game, guys…I know you’ll win that one, too.  JB
JB – really appreciate your support.  Umm…we guys REALLY needed this practice time together tonight.  Feeling better about this second game.  Dan and I are being especially effective this time around.  Milt
Milt – just being able to support you guys is really reward enough in itself.  Can’t wait to be their on the sidelines cheering you guys on next time, especially after such a good night tonight.
JB – thanks for all the messages and support.  You know, come to think of it, having you back on the court might be good.  You know, for morale.  Can you make it next week?



2 responses

6 10 2008

Man, you need a hobby.

9 09 2009
Sandra R

Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

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